One month update
And I thought I had time to write a post update...and of course, Maddie starts stirring once I sit down!
So I'll make this quick: It's been a month since this little girl came into our lives and changed it forever. I know it's so cliche, but of course, now I completely understand what every parent has ever told me. I can't imagine my life without her. I get teary-eyed when I look at her because I can't believe she's here and she's mine! I also get a little emotional when I imagine all the babies out there that aren't wanted--either in utero or once they are born-- and can't fathom any baby being abandoned or gotten rid of. I had that stance before, but now, it's completely close to my heart.
So I had mentioned that there was more to the story of my time in the hospital. During my pregnancy, we had had two ultrasounds; the first, to confirm my pregnancy, and the second was at 20 weeks for the anatomy scan and to find out the gender. Throughout it all, we were told and believed everything was completely normal and that Maddie was perfectly healthy.
When she was born, she was given to me immediately for skin-to-skin contact and she latched on right away. At least, she seemed to. The next day, when the nurses helped me with breastfeeding, we all noticed she wasn't really latching on properly. I asked if maybe she could be tongue-tied, and upon closer notice, everyone agreed that she was. So we requested that she be clipped (very common). While that procedure was being done, it was discovered that she had a cleft palate. Now, since we had no idea she was born with a defect and also knew hardly anything about cleft palates, our initial reaction was not a good one. I cried--not because I was disappointed in Madeline--but because I felt so bad that anything at all was wrong with her. I didn't want my baby to suffer or struggle in any way. And then, of course, I felt bad for Ryan. On top of having the responsibility of being the sole provider for his family only recently on top of the regular stress of having a newborn, now we had to deal with this curve ball. We had no idea what to expect or what we needed to do.
In the next day or two, we learned a lot more about cleft palates. First, what she has is the most mild case of it; secondly, it's very easily fixed with surgery, which she will probably get sometime next year. After meeting with specialists at the Children's hospital, we felt sooo much better about how to take care of her needs and how common this really is. She is already in good hands with all the doctors and specialists who will be working with her over the course of this year. She should be fine by the time she reaches her 1st birthday. And I'm grateful for that.
It has changed what we initially planned, which was for me to exclusively breastfeed. Since she can't suck, I've had to pump my milk and feed it to her using special needs bottles (which are pricey! Very grateful the hospital provided us with an initial supply). We also had to rent a hospital grade pump which was never in our plans. And, I also had wanted to use cloth diapers...well, that went out he window as I really don't have any time to even think about washing those things on a regular basis with all the extra steps I have to take with feeding and pumping every 3 hours, round the clock!
But, we're surviving. And I can honestly say, she is completely worth it. We are so in love with her. She provides us with wonderment and joy each day. She's growing like a weed and it reminds me that I have to savor each second with her and not begrudge any hurdles that come our way, because before I know it, she will be grown and out of the house! (Now I am starting to understand how women forget the agony of childbirth when desiring more children--I'm already sad at the thought of Maddie leaving the newborn stage and am thinking about when we'll try for our second!)
She turned one month yesterday. So far, she is beginning to lift her head, reeaally wants to crawl/walk, so we are encouraging lots of tummy time and help her to "crawl" by providing support at the bottoms of her feet while she slides on her tummy. She is very persistent and gets frustrated when she isn't moving. She's already like her daddy! He is a perfectionist and won't stop working until the job is done.
The no sleep part was getting to me the first few weeks, but after my parents left (they stuck around and helped for most of July) I surprisingly got more sleep and have finally figured out when to catch some z's while Maddie is also sleeping. She only sleeps for a few hours at a time, with 45 minutes to an hour being common. Of course, I am looking forward to her sleeping through the night! Not sure when that will happen. I read somewhere that babies who don't sleep too much are more intelligent?! Not sure if that's true, but if it is, then that's the only thing that makes me not mind it too much. At least, I keep telling myself that!
Uh oh. She is waking. End of my "free time", lol.
So that is my life now. And I really love it. No sleep and all :)
So I'll make this quick: It's been a month since this little girl came into our lives and changed it forever. I know it's so cliche, but of course, now I completely understand what every parent has ever told me. I can't imagine my life without her. I get teary-eyed when I look at her because I can't believe she's here and she's mine! I also get a little emotional when I imagine all the babies out there that aren't wanted--either in utero or once they are born-- and can't fathom any baby being abandoned or gotten rid of. I had that stance before, but now, it's completely close to my heart.
So I had mentioned that there was more to the story of my time in the hospital. During my pregnancy, we had had two ultrasounds; the first, to confirm my pregnancy, and the second was at 20 weeks for the anatomy scan and to find out the gender. Throughout it all, we were told and believed everything was completely normal and that Maddie was perfectly healthy.
When she was born, she was given to me immediately for skin-to-skin contact and she latched on right away. At least, she seemed to. The next day, when the nurses helped me with breastfeeding, we all noticed she wasn't really latching on properly. I asked if maybe she could be tongue-tied, and upon closer notice, everyone agreed that she was. So we requested that she be clipped (very common). While that procedure was being done, it was discovered that she had a cleft palate. Now, since we had no idea she was born with a defect and also knew hardly anything about cleft palates, our initial reaction was not a good one. I cried--not because I was disappointed in Madeline--but because I felt so bad that anything at all was wrong with her. I didn't want my baby to suffer or struggle in any way. And then, of course, I felt bad for Ryan. On top of having the responsibility of being the sole provider for his family only recently on top of the regular stress of having a newborn, now we had to deal with this curve ball. We had no idea what to expect or what we needed to do.
In the next day or two, we learned a lot more about cleft palates. First, what she has is the most mild case of it; secondly, it's very easily fixed with surgery, which she will probably get sometime next year. After meeting with specialists at the Children's hospital, we felt sooo much better about how to take care of her needs and how common this really is. She is already in good hands with all the doctors and specialists who will be working with her over the course of this year. She should be fine by the time she reaches her 1st birthday. And I'm grateful for that.
It has changed what we initially planned, which was for me to exclusively breastfeed. Since she can't suck, I've had to pump my milk and feed it to her using special needs bottles (which are pricey! Very grateful the hospital provided us with an initial supply). We also had to rent a hospital grade pump which was never in our plans. And, I also had wanted to use cloth diapers...well, that went out he window as I really don't have any time to even think about washing those things on a regular basis with all the extra steps I have to take with feeding and pumping every 3 hours, round the clock!
But, we're surviving. And I can honestly say, she is completely worth it. We are so in love with her. She provides us with wonderment and joy each day. She's growing like a weed and it reminds me that I have to savor each second with her and not begrudge any hurdles that come our way, because before I know it, she will be grown and out of the house! (Now I am starting to understand how women forget the agony of childbirth when desiring more children--I'm already sad at the thought of Maddie leaving the newborn stage and am thinking about when we'll try for our second!)
She turned one month yesterday. So far, she is beginning to lift her head, reeaally wants to crawl/walk, so we are encouraging lots of tummy time and help her to "crawl" by providing support at the bottoms of her feet while she slides on her tummy. She is very persistent and gets frustrated when she isn't moving. She's already like her daddy! He is a perfectionist and won't stop working until the job is done.
The no sleep part was getting to me the first few weeks, but after my parents left (they stuck around and helped for most of July) I surprisingly got more sleep and have finally figured out when to catch some z's while Maddie is also sleeping. She only sleeps for a few hours at a time, with 45 minutes to an hour being common. Of course, I am looking forward to her sleeping through the night! Not sure when that will happen. I read somewhere that babies who don't sleep too much are more intelligent?! Not sure if that's true, but if it is, then that's the only thing that makes me not mind it too much. At least, I keep telling myself that!
Uh oh. She is waking. End of my "free time", lol.
So that is my life now. And I really love it. No sleep and all :)
Comments
Some friends of ours daughter was also born with a mild cleft palate. You've never been able to tell that she had it and she's healed up great (I think she's four or five now), like you said, the biggest thing was the not being able to breastfeed like normal. Sorry you and her are having to go through all that.
As someone who "failed" at cloth diapering even though I was determined, I'd say that if you have them just put it off for now but don't give up. I ended up basically waterproofing mine (not a good thing to do to a diaper) and had the hardest time stripping them and my husband and mother in law (who baby sat for us when my son was a baby) did not like using the cloth diapers. But I went back and forth and kept at it and by the end I loved them. There's no reason you need to do them now with how busy you are and quite frankly it is very hard to keep on top of with a newborn but you don't need to write them off all together. I actually potty trained my son at 20 months, he was pretty much fully potty trained at 22 months and from then on used cloth diapers exclusively for his night time diapers. I'm really glad I didn't give up. Even just using them for night time diapers after he was potty trained was worth it for me. Yeah, we used disposable too but we saved a lot of money (and a lot of diapers from going in the landfill) just by my persistence in the long run.
And I was thinking the same thing, too, about cloth diapers. I don't feel defeated yet, haha. My MIL was SOOOO against me using cloth diapers to the point of desperation (not sure why she cared so much) and I know she is pleased that we've been using disposables since birth; but in my mind I still would like to try cloth when Maddie gets older, even if only at night time, like your son. We already have them so makes no sense to waste them. I've also considered trying "infant potty training" which apparently involves reading your baby's cues and immediately taking them to the toilet to go. I laughed first time I heard of it and thought it was a joke, but apparently it's a real thing. It intrigues me.
Thanks so much for the encouraging and kind words :) Love reading your blog!