Fall time and a 4 month old baby!

In a very rare occurrence, I'm stealing a few minutes on the computer downstairs (where it's faster to type than on my tiny smart phone) to post an update, while the 3 year old and 4 month old baby are BOTH taking late morning naps.  Rare, indeed.
While Elliott is a typical baby, taking 2-3 naps a day--a short one in the morning and usually a very long one or two average naps in the afternoon before settling in for the evening--Maddie, on the other hand, hardly ever takes her naps anymore :(
But she's had a cough for the past few days, which I'm keeping my eye on, and I actually convinced her to get into her bed so she could feel better to travel to grandma and grandpa's house this week. It worked!

So now I find myself in front of the computer...and I have no idea where to begin :/  So much happens with two kids; I feel like there isn't even enough time to process any thinking sometimes.  But I will say that I absolutely LOVE being a mom.  I love it.  I love babies, I love the cute things my 3 year old daughter says every day (even if she frustrates us to no end with her stubbornness and tantrums) and I just can't get enough kisses or snuggles in.  I already know I want at least one or two more babies, hahahaha.  Okay, maybe just one more.

So anyway, Elliott seems to be on this trend where he meets whatever milestone he's supposed to immediately AFTER his check-up with the pediatrician, where I tend to ask the doctor, "Shouldn't he be doing 'x,y or z' by now...?"  At his 2 month, I was worried about him not smiling yet, and the very next day, I got some pretty big smiles from the silly little boy.  This last visit, I was worried about him not lifting his head high enough when he's on the floor during tummy time (he has been lifting his head while on my chest or when you hold him, but while on the floor, he'd just keep his head down. I couldn't tell if he was just lazy, or not able to do it), and our doctor said Elliott had good muscle tone and to not worry about it unless he reaches six month of age and is still not lifting his head.  WELL. The next day, Elliott propped himself up when I put him on the floor and was just looking all around the house like, "Hey, this is no biggie!"  And last night when I went down to check on him after I had put him to bed, I discovered he had rolled over!  Less than a week after his 4 month appointment.  Sooo, yeah.  Maybe I should stop worrying about stuff...

4 months old!

the cutest profile I've ever seen

Classic Elliott "smirk"

Fresh from the bath!

And Maddie?  She is 90% delightful, 10% terror, lol.  Let's just say...she is not the most obedient toddler.  Often times when we ask her to do something or flat out tell her to do it, her response is, "No. I won't."  With absolutely ZERO fear of the repercussions.  We have tried everything.  I don't like spanking, but I'll admit, we have used that as a last resort..and it has no effect on her at all.  She laughs at us when we spank...so yeah.  For a very short time when she was 2 years old, the time out chair worked.  Sometimes, but not always, counting to 3 seems to do the trick.  But I have resorted to incentives which I hate doing...but since she's old enough to sort of reason, but not mature enough to understand WHY she always has to do something she's told, giving her a reward for good behavior is the happy medium we've settled on.  I am hoping as she gets closer to four years, things will get better.  But who knows.

She is pretty good with Elliott, although she does get weary of the attention he needs from mom and dad.  However, I think Ryan and I are doing a decent job of allotting her special time and divvying up kid duties.  Since Ryan isn't great with babies, I mostly take care of Elliott's diapers, feeding (exclusively nursing so Ryan obviously can't help with that, lol) and bathing/nighttime routine.  Ryan is good with keeping Maddie occupied and teaching her things, taking her out for fun.  So that's been very helpful this first quarter of caring for a new baby.

Also...I've slowly gotten back into playing gigs again.  I'm trying to stretch them out, mainly because of childcare and not always being able to rely on either Ryan or my parents to watch the kids, which is understandable.  We knew before having kids that once we had them, I probably would not be able to work again like I used to until the kids are old enough to be in school at least.

This past weekend, for example,  I played in a wedding; it really didn't take a lot of time, but I was nervous all through the rehearsal and the ceremony the next day because Ryan was alone with BOTH kids, and while I had hoped Elliott would sleep during the time I'd be gone, Murphy's Law ensured that he was wide awake for Ryan both times I was playing, haha.  My parents originally were supposed to come down to help, but they were under the weather, so it was left to Ryan to baby sit his own kids (note the facetious tone :/)
It did feel SO good to play again.  I know I have value as a mother taking care of my two little ones...but perhaps it's the society we live in now. I somehow feel like it isn't always enough.  Like, I should be working AND be a great mom, too.  I know some people don't have a choice and they HAVE to work, or some do but they choose to work.  I think no matter what the situation is, if there is love, you're doing a good job.  And I should tell myself that :/  But again, when society gives you that expectation (at my last appointment with my OB, he asked, "So...back to work yet?") you cannot help but feel like maybe you're doing something wrong, or maybe you belong in a different era (hello--I'm a 1950's housewife! Nice to meet you!).  In an ideal world, no one would roll their eyes or judge you for whatever choice you made...but that's just it--we live in a less than ideal world.
So, carrying on...

Sigh. I think I'll stop here. There is still so much I want to write about, but time is limited. And I am pretty sure I hear my 3 year old bouncing around in her room directly upstairs.  NOT resting.  Super.

Until next time (and I leave you with pictures from October:))






Comments

Leslie said…
It sounds like you’re settled into a great routine! I hear you about the whole motherhood and working. Our society really expects it, but I think staying at home is so valuable. You will just never get the time back. That’s also hilarious about milestones, but just really sums up parenting!

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