Love
Happy Hump Day!
This week is flying by for me. On Monday, I rescheduled my few students I normally have, so I could attend my 19 week ultrasound with my husband, his mother and my parents. This was the big one, where we found out the gender and made sure all measurements were looking good!
My stomach was in knots all morning; the appointment was at 3:00 and I just could not wait to see what we were having. My MIL arrived the night before and brought some baby furniture that used to be my husband's. We are telling everyone that we really would like anything secondhand as I hate to see things go to waste. I don't believe in buying everything new, especially if it won't be used for too long. I know some things will have to be purchased, but if someone has a crib or changing table they don't want, we'll totally take that.
So anyway, after my parents arrived late Monday morning, we chilled out waiting for my husband to come home from work. Everyone laughed at how desperate I was to see him pull into that driveway! I don't think I remember looking out a window that frequently since I was a little kid, haha.
He arrived, we loaded into the car and drove the 5 minute commute to my OB's office. They are always pretty punctual so we did not have a very long wait. The technician called us into the ultrasound room which was dimmed; everyone took their places in front of the monitor while I laid back for the tech to rub that goo on my belly. By the way, I am super ticklish so the whole time she is scanning my belly I just want to laugh out loud. It was hard to tell what we were looking at until the tech pointed out all the major organs: the heart, the stomach, the kidneys and of course, the spine. The cerebellum, which, my husband remarked "is important to have" lol. It was all there and I was SO relieved. I asked the tech if she could detect any abnormalities whatsoever and she said no. The baby looked good and healthy. Wonderful news.
She then asked us if we wanted to know the gender. Yes!!! Before I go on, I have to say that I was 99.9% sure this would be a boy--in fact, most people thought it would be. Logically, it made sense since there are absolutely NO girls in my husband's family. He has two brothers, his father has two brothers, we only have nephews; on my side, I am one of only two granddaughters, my father also had two brothers who had mostly all sons. Boys, boys, boys!
She said, "You're going to have a little girl".
WHAAAAAAT! The moms were overjoyed, especially my MIL! Honestly, what mother doesn't want a daughter? I won't lie and say I wasn't pleased--I was perfectly delighted. And then I saw my husband's face. Have you ever been dumped with ice cold water? He looked like he had been. He was standing the whole time in the middle of the room looking at the monitor and now he had a blank look on his face. I remember thinking, "oh no, please, don't tell me you are upset!". He didn't say a word, while the rest of our families were beaming and soaking it all in. After we filed back into the lobby to wait for my next appointment with my OB, all I could do was just watch my husband's face and wonder if he was just in shock or was truly upset at the news. I was starting to get a little annoyed--here, we just found out we are having a healthy girl, and all he can think about is that she's just not a boy?!
After texting everyone else in the family and making some phone calls, my husband went with me to see my OB. She spent 2 minutes telling us everything we already knew and then left. We went back home. My husband started talking more, little by little, as the news sank in. Mostly sarcastic remarks that made my mom laugh incessantly at how uncomfortable with the prospect of having a daughter seemed to him. I didn't find it that funny. I really wanted him to embrace this.
We went out to dinner where I caught an email sent to me from one of the studios saying I had lost a student--this was unexpected and random (and the reasons were sort of infuriating...as usual the parent didn't come to me, just went directly to the owner whom she's never met)-- but the news of the day had me walking on a cloud it was just too hard to get upset about something like that. So I didn't let it bother me too much. This is something I'll discuss more later as it relates to the ideas of Suzuki vs. Traditional and parents' skewed perceptions on what is better. A whole other post for another day.
Once we got back home, my MIL packed up and left and shortly afterwards, my parents also left and made the 2 hour drive back to NE Ohio.
As my husband and I were getting ready for bed, I brought it up. "Are you seriously upset we are having a daughter?". He said, "No, I'm not upset!". "Well, you really don't look happy and I can't understand why.". "Gaby, I AM happy...don't worry about it."
Hmm, I wasn't buying it. I kept probing and insisting that this was OUR girl and she would be raised by us---whatever misconceptions or misgivings he had about women in general, I told him, didn't have to apply to this creature. He finally said, "No, Gaby, it's not that...I never had any sisters! What am I supposed to DO with a girl??!!!"
A-ha! This whole time I thought he was unhappy, upset, disappointed...he was PETRIFIED of a little girl. All my annoyed feelings went away and I felt for him. I reassured him that maybe he couldn't fathom it at this moment--maybe not even for the rest of the pregnancy--but once that baby comes out, he will be hooked. This will be an adventure. Yes, she will never become a professional major league baseball player, but you can still play catch outside with her. You can teach her all the things you would have taught your son, plus more. And whether you like it or not, you may learn more about princesses, clothes, tea parties and dolls than you ever cared to. You'll be a great dad. You'll love her more than you thought you could love anything because she is YOURS, ours.
I think my husband was meant to have a little girl. He is the most masculine, unemotional and stubborn person I've ever known. And without a doubt, I know he will melt when he sees our little girl :). I can't wait for everyone to meet her. I can't wait to meet you, little girl. You are only almost 5 months in the womb but already you are loved by so many people.
This week is flying by for me. On Monday, I rescheduled my few students I normally have, so I could attend my 19 week ultrasound with my husband, his mother and my parents. This was the big one, where we found out the gender and made sure all measurements were looking good!
My stomach was in knots all morning; the appointment was at 3:00 and I just could not wait to see what we were having. My MIL arrived the night before and brought some baby furniture that used to be my husband's. We are telling everyone that we really would like anything secondhand as I hate to see things go to waste. I don't believe in buying everything new, especially if it won't be used for too long. I know some things will have to be purchased, but if someone has a crib or changing table they don't want, we'll totally take that.
So anyway, after my parents arrived late Monday morning, we chilled out waiting for my husband to come home from work. Everyone laughed at how desperate I was to see him pull into that driveway! I don't think I remember looking out a window that frequently since I was a little kid, haha.
He arrived, we loaded into the car and drove the 5 minute commute to my OB's office. They are always pretty punctual so we did not have a very long wait. The technician called us into the ultrasound room which was dimmed; everyone took their places in front of the monitor while I laid back for the tech to rub that goo on my belly. By the way, I am super ticklish so the whole time she is scanning my belly I just want to laugh out loud. It was hard to tell what we were looking at until the tech pointed out all the major organs: the heart, the stomach, the kidneys and of course, the spine. The cerebellum, which, my husband remarked "is important to have" lol. It was all there and I was SO relieved. I asked the tech if she could detect any abnormalities whatsoever and she said no. The baby looked good and healthy. Wonderful news.
She then asked us if we wanted to know the gender. Yes!!! Before I go on, I have to say that I was 99.9% sure this would be a boy--in fact, most people thought it would be. Logically, it made sense since there are absolutely NO girls in my husband's family. He has two brothers, his father has two brothers, we only have nephews; on my side, I am one of only two granddaughters, my father also had two brothers who had mostly all sons. Boys, boys, boys!
She said, "You're going to have a little girl".
WHAAAAAAT! The moms were overjoyed, especially my MIL! Honestly, what mother doesn't want a daughter? I won't lie and say I wasn't pleased--I was perfectly delighted. And then I saw my husband's face. Have you ever been dumped with ice cold water? He looked like he had been. He was standing the whole time in the middle of the room looking at the monitor and now he had a blank look on his face. I remember thinking, "oh no, please, don't tell me you are upset!". He didn't say a word, while the rest of our families were beaming and soaking it all in. After we filed back into the lobby to wait for my next appointment with my OB, all I could do was just watch my husband's face and wonder if he was just in shock or was truly upset at the news. I was starting to get a little annoyed--here, we just found out we are having a healthy girl, and all he can think about is that she's just not a boy?!
After texting everyone else in the family and making some phone calls, my husband went with me to see my OB. She spent 2 minutes telling us everything we already knew and then left. We went back home. My husband started talking more, little by little, as the news sank in. Mostly sarcastic remarks that made my mom laugh incessantly at how uncomfortable with the prospect of having a daughter seemed to him. I didn't find it that funny. I really wanted him to embrace this.
We went out to dinner where I caught an email sent to me from one of the studios saying I had lost a student--this was unexpected and random (and the reasons were sort of infuriating...as usual the parent didn't come to me, just went directly to the owner whom she's never met)-- but the news of the day had me walking on a cloud it was just too hard to get upset about something like that. So I didn't let it bother me too much. This is something I'll discuss more later as it relates to the ideas of Suzuki vs. Traditional and parents' skewed perceptions on what is better. A whole other post for another day.
Once we got back home, my MIL packed up and left and shortly afterwards, my parents also left and made the 2 hour drive back to NE Ohio.
As my husband and I were getting ready for bed, I brought it up. "Are you seriously upset we are having a daughter?". He said, "No, I'm not upset!". "Well, you really don't look happy and I can't understand why.". "Gaby, I AM happy...don't worry about it."
Hmm, I wasn't buying it. I kept probing and insisting that this was OUR girl and she would be raised by us---whatever misconceptions or misgivings he had about women in general, I told him, didn't have to apply to this creature. He finally said, "No, Gaby, it's not that...I never had any sisters! What am I supposed to DO with a girl??!!!"
A-ha! This whole time I thought he was unhappy, upset, disappointed...he was PETRIFIED of a little girl. All my annoyed feelings went away and I felt for him. I reassured him that maybe he couldn't fathom it at this moment--maybe not even for the rest of the pregnancy--but once that baby comes out, he will be hooked. This will be an adventure. Yes, she will never become a professional major league baseball player, but you can still play catch outside with her. You can teach her all the things you would have taught your son, plus more. And whether you like it or not, you may learn more about princesses, clothes, tea parties and dolls than you ever cared to. You'll be a great dad. You'll love her more than you thought you could love anything because she is YOURS, ours.
I think my husband was meant to have a little girl. He is the most masculine, unemotional and stubborn person I've ever known. And without a doubt, I know he will melt when he sees our little girl :). I can't wait for everyone to meet her. I can't wait to meet you, little girl. You are only almost 5 months in the womb but already you are loved by so many people.
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