I love Nerds
My significant other and I disagree on the topic of taking a vacation. Which is too bad because I'm really really needing one about now.
There was a period back there--maybe a month or two ago--where I was feeling really peaceful about where I was and where I'm going; I was just going with the flow, trying very hard to not over think anything in general, and it seemed to work pretty well.
But now I can feel myself being slowly sucked back into the vortex of negativity and pessimism. The days where I teach for four or five hours, but it might as well be ten or twelve with the way they drag on; days where I don't feel inspired as a teacher and I want to beat myself up for not having the answer or solution to everything; days where I bombed an audition and I come home feeling unworthy as a musician, much less a teacher, and tell myself I have no right to guide young musicians if I can't guide myself through a stupid audition.
I don't know if I'm just having a sour day, or if it's the economy and high gas prices, or the fact that I sort of embarrassed myself in front of a student and his mom today (and I'm sure I'm making a bigger deal about it in my own head than it actually was), but I just feel doomed. Does anyone know what I mean? I hate those kinds of days where every thought I have does not have a good ending.
Sometimes, it's hard work for me to stay giddy and bubbly. I want to be lazy and sulk right now. Maybe I just need to exercise more. I've been a bad runner and haven't gone running in a week, and when I did go a week ago, I whined the whole time, which really annoyed my friend.
Oh. I just realized why I'm in such a bad mood: tomorrow is April 15th. That's right--this year, we procrastinated and waited until THIS EVENING to file our taxes. Wow.
It's okay, though. By Sunday, this household will have long forgotten about what a frenzy the past two weeks have been since the hubby will most likely be "hungover" from hosting a Nerd Party that involves a bunch of geeks bringing their Playstations and playing Call of Duty in the same room. I'm just kidding about being hungover--we are not big drinkers and have never been hungover. But if one can play video games to death, it's definitely these guys and I'm bracing myself for nerd overload. I'm planning on making food for all these nerds to enjoy while they play, but I won't be here to enjoy it with them since I have one last orchestra performance of the season this Sat. night. We're doing Verdi's Requiem and then Sunday evening, I agreed to play for a Sunday service, so no sleeping in for me this weekend.:(
There was a period back there--maybe a month or two ago--where I was feeling really peaceful about where I was and where I'm going; I was just going with the flow, trying very hard to not over think anything in general, and it seemed to work pretty well.
But now I can feel myself being slowly sucked back into the vortex of negativity and pessimism. The days where I teach for four or five hours, but it might as well be ten or twelve with the way they drag on; days where I don't feel inspired as a teacher and I want to beat myself up for not having the answer or solution to everything; days where I bombed an audition and I come home feeling unworthy as a musician, much less a teacher, and tell myself I have no right to guide young musicians if I can't guide myself through a stupid audition.
I don't know if I'm just having a sour day, or if it's the economy and high gas prices, or the fact that I sort of embarrassed myself in front of a student and his mom today (and I'm sure I'm making a bigger deal about it in my own head than it actually was), but I just feel doomed. Does anyone know what I mean? I hate those kinds of days where every thought I have does not have a good ending.
Sometimes, it's hard work for me to stay giddy and bubbly. I want to be lazy and sulk right now. Maybe I just need to exercise more. I've been a bad runner and haven't gone running in a week, and when I did go a week ago, I whined the whole time, which really annoyed my friend.
Oh. I just realized why I'm in such a bad mood: tomorrow is April 15th. That's right--this year, we procrastinated and waited until THIS EVENING to file our taxes. Wow.
It's okay, though. By Sunday, this household will have long forgotten about what a frenzy the past two weeks have been since the hubby will most likely be "hungover" from hosting a Nerd Party that involves a bunch of geeks bringing their Playstations and playing Call of Duty in the same room. I'm just kidding about being hungover--we are not big drinkers and have never been hungover. But if one can play video games to death, it's definitely these guys and I'm bracing myself for nerd overload. I'm planning on making food for all these nerds to enjoy while they play, but I won't be here to enjoy it with them since I have one last orchestra performance of the season this Sat. night. We're doing Verdi's Requiem and then Sunday evening, I agreed to play for a Sunday service, so no sleeping in for me this weekend.:(
Comments
@Hannah--maybe you're right? I'm not sure, but April 15th still sucks!
Yeaah, auditions blow...until the day I win the first one, and then of course, auditions will be awesome.lol.