Sunday Thoughts
It's been snowing the past few days, and as we tend to do on snow days, a lot of lounging around the house has been happening. It's a good thing we own a rowing machine, otherwise absolutely no physical activity would occur during days like these. But to come completely clean, this week was not as good as last week in the working out department. When I was doing double workouts last week, the energy from the first workout helped keep the momentum going for the second workout of the day; but then I skipped the weekend and totally lost that momentum. Yep. Thereafter, it was just sporadic workouts again this week. "Dislike". What a huge slap in the forehead concerning consistency. I really need to jump on the consistency bandwagon.
It's Sunday morning, and Ryan suggested we go to church, as long as it wasn't the non denominational one I attended last week (he hates their music and charisma). We looked into a Presbyterian one down the road that was just built, and I was completely willing to go-- although Presbyterian/Lutheran/Methodist isn't really my cup of tea-- but we had missed the service by 20 minutes. So now I need to figure out what to do this morning.
I miss running as I didn't run at all this week--just rowed-- so I'm planning on going to the gym to run on the TD at precisely 6:30 PM when everyone else is at home watching the super bowl. Clever, huh. Or it could backfire and perhaps EVERYONE and their brother will be occupying a machine at that time, so they can watch while they exercise.
Guess I'm going to make some coffee and french toast. Just seems appropriate for a snowy Sunday. I finally got around to organizing my orchestral excerpts binder, so I'm probably going to do some practicing later on. And no, no auditions planned. Even if there are any openings, I have no desire or plans to apply for one. Like I've said in the past-- if I ever do one again, it's absolutely mandatory for me that I feel damn sure that I have a shot at winning. No more throwing ten fishing lines hoping for one or two tugs; the first goal is simply caring about my playing, the way I sound, and how comfortable and certain I am with the music. Then--and only then--will I consider another audition attempt.
I have a few gigs I've already accepted for spring, but other than that, I opened up more time in my life for MYSELF. I finally mustered up the balls to let both orchestras (volunteer really, since they weren't paying me) know that I would not be returning for the rest of the season. Both were taking up too much time, especially considering that I had to drive all around town on no pay or compensation, as well as sucking up any love for music that I have due to low caliber of playing and/or performances. I stayed in it as long as I did out of obligation and guilt and fear of losing any musical/professional networks. What I keep forgetting, however, is that I am no longer a desperate conservatory student who wants every gig she can get her hands on. I think a lot of musicians are in that mode (the networking "mode") because--you never know--one gig might lead to another; this person for whom you did a favor might repay it in the future.
So...I guess that's where my head was when I said "yes" to playing in an amateur ensemble. I regretted it soon after the first rehearsal. The music was way above their level of playing, no one practiced, and performances were horrendous. Rehearsals were downtown, which was a trek for me living on the outskirts of Columbus. So when the new year arrived, I vowed that I would no longer do anything unless is brought absolute gratification and contentment. Stretching myself thin and haggard for services that are neither good quality nor pay does not do that for me. I felt like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders when I made the move.
So, now, just looking forward. My only desire is to get better, to improve. I'm tired of standing in one place going nowhere. But in order for some changes to happen, I really needed to shut some things both down and out.
Stay warm if you're in a cold climate area...and Happy February!
It's Sunday morning, and Ryan suggested we go to church, as long as it wasn't the non denominational one I attended last week (he hates their music and charisma). We looked into a Presbyterian one down the road that was just built, and I was completely willing to go-- although Presbyterian/Lutheran/Methodist isn't really my cup of tea-- but we had missed the service by 20 minutes. So now I need to figure out what to do this morning.
I miss running as I didn't run at all this week--just rowed-- so I'm planning on going to the gym to run on the TD at precisely 6:30 PM when everyone else is at home watching the super bowl. Clever, huh. Or it could backfire and perhaps EVERYONE and their brother will be occupying a machine at that time, so they can watch while they exercise.
Guess I'm going to make some coffee and french toast. Just seems appropriate for a snowy Sunday. I finally got around to organizing my orchestral excerpts binder, so I'm probably going to do some practicing later on. And no, no auditions planned. Even if there are any openings, I have no desire or plans to apply for one. Like I've said in the past-- if I ever do one again, it's absolutely mandatory for me that I feel damn sure that I have a shot at winning. No more throwing ten fishing lines hoping for one or two tugs; the first goal is simply caring about my playing, the way I sound, and how comfortable and certain I am with the music. Then--and only then--will I consider another audition attempt.
I have a few gigs I've already accepted for spring, but other than that, I opened up more time in my life for MYSELF. I finally mustered up the balls to let both orchestras (volunteer really, since they weren't paying me) know that I would not be returning for the rest of the season. Both were taking up too much time, especially considering that I had to drive all around town on no pay or compensation, as well as sucking up any love for music that I have due to low caliber of playing and/or performances. I stayed in it as long as I did out of obligation and guilt and fear of losing any musical/professional networks. What I keep forgetting, however, is that I am no longer a desperate conservatory student who wants every gig she can get her hands on. I think a lot of musicians are in that mode (the networking "mode") because--you never know--one gig might lead to another; this person for whom you did a favor might repay it in the future.
So...I guess that's where my head was when I said "yes" to playing in an amateur ensemble. I regretted it soon after the first rehearsal. The music was way above their level of playing, no one practiced, and performances were horrendous. Rehearsals were downtown, which was a trek for me living on the outskirts of Columbus. So when the new year arrived, I vowed that I would no longer do anything unless is brought absolute gratification and contentment. Stretching myself thin and haggard for services that are neither good quality nor pay does not do that for me. I felt like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders when I made the move.
So, now, just looking forward. My only desire is to get better, to improve. I'm tired of standing in one place going nowhere. But in order for some changes to happen, I really needed to shut some things both down and out.
Stay warm if you're in a cold climate area...and Happy February!
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