24 weeks and thoughts on being a SAHM
Good morning!
24 weeks today and Maddie is kicking me as I type. I think she's got a sense of humor because every time I catch her kicking (and now it's visible, I can see my stomach moving everywhere...it's amazing) and yell for Ryan to "quick, come look!" she stops immediately. And he thinks I'm a crazy pregnant person (even though I am).
At six months, the kicks and jabs still feel "cute" and don't bother me at all...more like a very tiny person is playing ping pong in my stomach! I'm curious what they're going to feel like as they get stronger. I've heard that they can sometimes take your breath away. Buuut, so far at this point, I get it: there is just no way anymore that I can take someone else's experience and think the same will happen to me. The horrid stories you hear from most pregnant women have not happened to me for the most part. It's so hard to say what causes that, but I'll just say that I'm super grateful that this has not yet been a terrible experience for me. I can only hope and wish that labor and delivery are the same story...but I'll be ready for anything, I guess!
It's starting to really hit my students and their parents that we only have a short time left until my departure. I'm so sad. Some people are baffled why I don't plan on returning to work, others are totally understanding and supportive. The fact of the matter is, this job is really only part-time and always has been. Teaching private lessons is not technically a full time job, although it can certainly feel like it at times. I've taught most of these students for several years (3-8 years) and I've been teaching for over a decade. Teachers don't really make a lot, plus most don't receive insurance or benefits from their teaching jobs, so all of those factors contribute to my decision to not return as it doesn't make any sense for me to shell out $$ for daycare when my teaching income probably will barely exceed the cost per month. I'd be working to pay someone else to watch my kid. Individuals making six figures a year probably still detest doing it.
Beyond that, I love being home. I love being a home maker and in all the years we've been married, the entire time I've really hated not being able to have dinner hot and ready for my husband by the time he comes home from work because I'm stuck teaching until 8 or 9:00 at night. Not that every day is exactly like that, and the times I have gotten to be home before him, or maybe had the day off, we both looked at each other as we ate dinner at a normal hour and just said "this is NICE". I mean, there is SO much to do when you own a house, don't pay anyone else to clean it for you, have laundry for two adults, and aspire to cook healthy meals every day WITHOUT children...I know it's going to be even crazier with taking care of a newborn, especially the first year as it grows, plus maintaining the house the same way. Yep, no way I can go back to work. When she's older...sure, maybe. But I have no desire to work for a studio...the driving, the pay cut, the time suck. I love teaching and can see myself doing it out of my house on a smaller scale. More freedom (I can CHOOSE my students, imagine that) and flexibility, and probably better pay.
But for now, we are ready for this change. I know a lot of women (and men) don't understand or like it, but I don't see what the issue is if a person desires whatever decision they've made. This is right for all of us and I'm very much looking forward to it.
And all of that being said...I need to get back upstairs and start cleaning before running some errands. Another slow teaching day. At this point, I probably would have done away with my Monday and Friday teaching since they only inhabit 3 students at most and also are far commutes; but since I only have 2 months left or so, I'm saying "yes" to almost anything and everything to ensure I don't burn any bridges or leave bad feelings once I wrap up my time there.
Have a great weekend :)
24 weeks today and Maddie is kicking me as I type. I think she's got a sense of humor because every time I catch her kicking (and now it's visible, I can see my stomach moving everywhere...it's amazing) and yell for Ryan to "quick, come look!" she stops immediately. And he thinks I'm a crazy pregnant person (even though I am).
At six months, the kicks and jabs still feel "cute" and don't bother me at all...more like a very tiny person is playing ping pong in my stomach! I'm curious what they're going to feel like as they get stronger. I've heard that they can sometimes take your breath away. Buuut, so far at this point, I get it: there is just no way anymore that I can take someone else's experience and think the same will happen to me. The horrid stories you hear from most pregnant women have not happened to me for the most part. It's so hard to say what causes that, but I'll just say that I'm super grateful that this has not yet been a terrible experience for me. I can only hope and wish that labor and delivery are the same story...but I'll be ready for anything, I guess!
It's starting to really hit my students and their parents that we only have a short time left until my departure. I'm so sad. Some people are baffled why I don't plan on returning to work, others are totally understanding and supportive. The fact of the matter is, this job is really only part-time and always has been. Teaching private lessons is not technically a full time job, although it can certainly feel like it at times. I've taught most of these students for several years (3-8 years) and I've been teaching for over a decade. Teachers don't really make a lot, plus most don't receive insurance or benefits from their teaching jobs, so all of those factors contribute to my decision to not return as it doesn't make any sense for me to shell out $$ for daycare when my teaching income probably will barely exceed the cost per month. I'd be working to pay someone else to watch my kid. Individuals making six figures a year probably still detest doing it.
Beyond that, I love being home. I love being a home maker and in all the years we've been married, the entire time I've really hated not being able to have dinner hot and ready for my husband by the time he comes home from work because I'm stuck teaching until 8 or 9:00 at night. Not that every day is exactly like that, and the times I have gotten to be home before him, or maybe had the day off, we both looked at each other as we ate dinner at a normal hour and just said "this is NICE". I mean, there is SO much to do when you own a house, don't pay anyone else to clean it for you, have laundry for two adults, and aspire to cook healthy meals every day WITHOUT children...I know it's going to be even crazier with taking care of a newborn, especially the first year as it grows, plus maintaining the house the same way. Yep, no way I can go back to work. When she's older...sure, maybe. But I have no desire to work for a studio...the driving, the pay cut, the time suck. I love teaching and can see myself doing it out of my house on a smaller scale. More freedom (I can CHOOSE my students, imagine that) and flexibility, and probably better pay.
But for now, we are ready for this change. I know a lot of women (and men) don't understand or like it, but I don't see what the issue is if a person desires whatever decision they've made. This is right for all of us and I'm very much looking forward to it.
And all of that being said...I need to get back upstairs and start cleaning before running some errands. Another slow teaching day. At this point, I probably would have done away with my Monday and Friday teaching since they only inhabit 3 students at most and also are far commutes; but since I only have 2 months left or so, I'm saying "yes" to almost anything and everything to ensure I don't burn any bridges or leave bad feelings once I wrap up my time there.
Have a great weekend :)
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