When Will I Learn?
Some of you may have caught my last post and, yes, I took it down because it just didn't seem right to have such a whiny, rant-y...bitchy post for just anyone to stumble upon. Those were and should remain my private thoughts. It just wasn't wise at all to indulge in the moment of feeling frustrated onto this blog of mine.
And perhaps that is why I have such long periods of no posting; I'm still struggling with what is acceptable to write about, and what is too mundane.
Speaking for myself, I thoroughly enjoy reading about people...their struggles, their desires, the mundane details in their lives that make them human. I identify with that. And so once in awhile, that loosens the reigns on any common sense I might have and I'll have a relapse where I just vent. No care as to who might read it or how they might interpret it or interpret ME.
But after publishing it, I asked myself, "If my friend saw this and asked me about it...would I defend it?" The answer was simply, "No. I would be ashamed and sorry."
And so I deleted it.
That doesn't mean that frustrations have magically gone away; but it does mean that I realize that my friend's special day and our relationship--even if it's long distance and I only talk to her maybe once a year, if that-- is much, much more important than my petty annoyances with certain details of this trip. Six months, a year from now, I won't remember those hassles. But if it caused a rift in our friendship...well, that would last much longer. That is utterly not worth a rant.
Perhaps you have no idea what I'm talking about b/c you missed the post-- if so, then I'm glad!
So even though I'd love to maintain this blog as a place for me to feel comfortable, and for you to get to know me better, I really need to practice a little more discernment and self control when it comes to how much I should say or what I say on this blog.
I still have no way of knowing exactly who is reading this...and that scares me a little. Just another reason I need to be more careful. I thought again of deleting this entire blog and just walking away--but I remembered how nice it was to have this online journal of my silly life events for those times I may forget down the road. There have been more than one occasion where someone has asked me, "What did we do around this time of year?" and I couldn't recall until I looked at my blog ("Oh hey, there it is!") so once again, not going to delete this.
But I may lay off the writing until I have something good to say again :)
And perhaps that is why I have such long periods of no posting; I'm still struggling with what is acceptable to write about, and what is too mundane.
Speaking for myself, I thoroughly enjoy reading about people...their struggles, their desires, the mundane details in their lives that make them human. I identify with that. And so once in awhile, that loosens the reigns on any common sense I might have and I'll have a relapse where I just vent. No care as to who might read it or how they might interpret it or interpret ME.
But after publishing it, I asked myself, "If my friend saw this and asked me about it...would I defend it?" The answer was simply, "No. I would be ashamed and sorry."
And so I deleted it.
That doesn't mean that frustrations have magically gone away; but it does mean that I realize that my friend's special day and our relationship--even if it's long distance and I only talk to her maybe once a year, if that-- is much, much more important than my petty annoyances with certain details of this trip. Six months, a year from now, I won't remember those hassles. But if it caused a rift in our friendship...well, that would last much longer. That is utterly not worth a rant.
Perhaps you have no idea what I'm talking about b/c you missed the post-- if so, then I'm glad!
So even though I'd love to maintain this blog as a place for me to feel comfortable, and for you to get to know me better, I really need to practice a little more discernment and self control when it comes to how much I should say or what I say on this blog.
I still have no way of knowing exactly who is reading this...and that scares me a little. Just another reason I need to be more careful. I thought again of deleting this entire blog and just walking away--but I remembered how nice it was to have this online journal of my silly life events for those times I may forget down the road. There have been more than one occasion where someone has asked me, "What did we do around this time of year?" and I couldn't recall until I looked at my blog ("Oh hey, there it is!") so once again, not going to delete this.
But I may lay off the writing until I have something good to say again :)
Comments
It was very unwise and here's to hoping I learn my lesson and that no damage was done.
Really appreciate the advice :)
I sometimes wish, though, that I'd kept my blog completely private. I wish I'd never told friends and family and that I'd just left it out there for the world wide web to find. I wish this simply because I'd often love to use it as a way to vent and rant, but I can't. Oh well! Maybe I'll create a new, secret blog!
I can't wait to read your next post
Originally, I started this blog with my best friend with the intent of the two of us keeping it up. But I've never told any of my other friends about it, and my family claims that they don't read it simply b/c they're not interested. But obviously I haven't made it private either, so anyone really could find it if they searched hard enough. I guess I was assuming (and slightly hoping) that most people I know don't have that kind of time on their hands, lol.
Makes me wonder if I SHOULD start telling people about it precisely to keep me in line :P In any case, I so, so appreciate those who are reading and letting me know that they are there :)