Finding a balance

By Gaby -
Last week, I participated in two separate performances of Aaron Copland's "Appalachian Spring";  the first performance was of the original written for a chamber group and simply called "Ballet for Martha", and the second was with the full orchestra version that most people are familiar with.  There are parts of both versions that I enjoyed, but I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the smaller, more intimate version.  Maybe it had something to do with the piano and flute being responsible for those annoying scales:)  At any rate, since the past week was filled with more rehearsals and performances than my typical week, I was reminded of how much I enjoy performing and playing as opposed to just teaching.  For sure, the two complement each other:  I know I'm a better teacher when I'm being active, and vice versa--I'm a much more self-aware player when I'm teaching and being forced to think through what others are playing and what I'm playing myself.

I have to admit that the playing has kind of taken over the marathon training.  It's not going very well.  I'm having a VERY hard time balancing out both.  While I still love running, I think I made a huge error in the timing of it all.  It SUCKS  training for a marathon during the winter time.  What was I thinking?!?!?  When it's too cold to run out, I have to go to the gym.  Pounding out mileage on a treadmill could not be any more mind-numbing for me.  So I avoid it when I can.   For a while there, we had some very nice weather, and I was taking advantage of it.  Well, now it's starting to really look like winter, and I'm not a fan of running on icy patches, so I've stayed indoors.

At this point, I don't know what will happen.  I know I have to keep at it as I'm registered for this race and can't back out, but I'm not feeling it anymore.  I'm sure I'll feel a little more motivated once the weather warms up, but right now--not so much.
Geez, I'm even planning on running a 100 mile relay just a few weeks after the marathon, and I'm not even worried about that.  I can't blame sickness anymore as I feel perfectly fine.  I've just been lazy, undisciplined and wanting to stay curled up in a blanket in my warm house.

That's all for now.  I think I have to have a serious talk with myself about turning this around.  Time is not on my side right now:(

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