Final decision
So I attempted my longest run to date according to the marathon schedule I'd been slacking off of following--20 miles--and long story short: I'm switching from the Cincy Flying Pig marathon to the half-marathon. I just know I'm not ready. And it's not the "I'm-just-saying-this-to-get-as-much-encouraging-comments-massaging-my-ego" kind of 'not ready'. It's the "I've-not-been-following-my-training-and-am-screwed-for-real-and-could-seriously-injure-myself-and-not-run-for-a-very-long-time" not ready.
For sure, I was disappointed at first...disappointed in myself for failing to meet my goal. For being so undisciplined all the time, that I hardly meet any of my goals. But then again, I do tend to set lofty goals with little preparation. It's not logical at all.
My husband made an astute observation about me: I tend to be one of those people that think that setting a goal or scheduling an event will prompt me to meet the goal, when what really should be working for me is concentrating on little improvements and then scheduling those events to "test" my progress. This goes for my violin life, as well. In the past, I would apply for orchestra auditions 3 or 4 months ahead thinking it'd get me to start practicing every day--and it wouldn't. I scheduled this marathon back in December assuming I'd go through with the training and had plenty of time to do so. And, technically, I did have enough time, but I underestimated my lack of discipline factoring in, as well as other factors--like getting sick, getting injured, juggling other commitments, etc.
It's a hard lesson to swallow. But I really need to face this fact about myself...and do something to turn it around. Let's start with this half-marathon, shall we? I've never done an official half-marathon race (although I've already done the distance plus more on my own), so this will still be a "first" for me. I'll enjoy it, and maybe I can now concentrate on a PR? Who knows.
So there's my decision. I've made it, I'm at peace with it, and there's always the future for a full marathon.
I feel better already:)
For sure, I was disappointed at first...disappointed in myself for failing to meet my goal. For being so undisciplined all the time, that I hardly meet any of my goals. But then again, I do tend to set lofty goals with little preparation. It's not logical at all.
My husband made an astute observation about me: I tend to be one of those people that think that setting a goal or scheduling an event will prompt me to meet the goal, when what really should be working for me is concentrating on little improvements and then scheduling those events to "test" my progress. This goes for my violin life, as well. In the past, I would apply for orchestra auditions 3 or 4 months ahead thinking it'd get me to start practicing every day--and it wouldn't. I scheduled this marathon back in December assuming I'd go through with the training and had plenty of time to do so. And, technically, I did have enough time, but I underestimated my lack of discipline factoring in, as well as other factors--like getting sick, getting injured, juggling other commitments, etc.
It's a hard lesson to swallow. But I really need to face this fact about myself...and do something to turn it around. Let's start with this half-marathon, shall we? I've never done an official half-marathon race (although I've already done the distance plus more on my own), so this will still be a "first" for me. I'll enjoy it, and maybe I can now concentrate on a PR? Who knows.
So there's my decision. I've made it, I'm at peace with it, and there's always the future for a full marathon.
I feel better already:)
Comments