A late night Rant. So there.

By Gaby -
Today, during a lesson, my student's mom blurted out, "So do you have a day job?"  Ah, my favorite question.  Yes, I do have a day job--it's teaching music!  I explained further:  I teach privately during the hours kids are usually home from school or when adults are home from work.  For me, as a private music instructor, that's as "full time" as it gets.  During my off hours I practice, I do normal "house stuff", exercise, and anything anyone else might do once they get home from work around 5 or 6pm from their "normal" day jobs.  It may seem like I have an awful lot of time on my hands, but honestly, 4-6 hours of teaching students straight with no break feels like the equivalent of 8-10 hours of sitting at a boring desk job.  And add trying to maintain my own playing, get as many gigs as I can possibly do, and still have a life on top of that--I am definitely not leading a bum's life.

But I don't think this mom meant it in that way.  I know that parents honestly have no clue what is really involved in a musician's life, whether it's a freelance one like myself or a professional orchestra musician.  We're pretty much the same to them.

I felt a little bad, though, because when I arrived home tonight from teaching and checked my email, I found an email from this mom saying "I'm sorry I asked you if you had a day job--I know it takes a lot of time and effort doing what you do and you're very good at it..."

I wrote an email back saying to not even worry about it--people ask it all the time.  I knew she didn't mean anything demeaning by it.  Don't get me wrong--when I answered her question in person, I was not sarcastic at all.  She seemed to regret her own question (and probably realized the silliness of it as it came out of her mouth) as soon as she asked it.  But I was touched that she was considerate to send an email regarding it.

Once again, I like what I do--not only for the lessons the kids teach me, but for the everyday "people" lessons that I get.  There may be tons of people out there who feel very insecure about their occupations or their academic backgrounds or their economic background;  here is what I've finally learned (as in, it's actually sunken in and I "get it"):  NONE OF THAT MATTERS. DON'T EVER APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT YOU DO, WHERE YOU WENT TO SCHOOL OR WHERE YOU COME FROM.  It is what makes you who you are and your self worth is not dependent on any of those things.  If it is, then I am so sorry.  Life is about so much more than that.

**********************************************************
Lecture over.  On another note, I think the trip to Las Vegas and Arizona is definitely happening and it will be taken with my parents and aunt and uncle who are coming down from Argentina.  The hubby will remain in Cow Town, partly due to the many pregnant women at his office who will be on maternity leave and are thus making it extremely hard for him to take a vacation during that specific time.  I chuckle and groan (mostly groan) at things like this because--as I've mentioned before--it's almost as if every turn my husband makes, he's finding a new reason to dread and hate parenthood. 
ANYWAY.
He'll at least have plenty of time to play his precious video games.

I'm so looking forward to this trip.  But before that, I'll be looking forward to Memorial Day weekend which involves one of my favorite 5K's.  I'm also really grateful that last weekend's Race for the Cure involved wonderful weather because since then, it's been raining every single day!  Boo!

Okay, well it's pretty late and I didn't intend for this post to be this long.  Scrolling up and re reading what I just wrote, I also feel like I've given the impression of being pissed, but I'm not. I really am not!  Sigh, sometimes, I feel like the way I write isn't always the best reflection of my real voice.  Whatevs.  Going to bed:P

Comments

Hannah said…
I have lots of thoughts about this post but I can't seem to put any of them into a coherent thought. Thanks for this post :)
May 18, 2011 at 8:52 AM
Karen Bjork Kubin said…
I think you're right--it's really hard for people to understand how hard people in the arts work. On the outside it's almost impossible to see the kind of effort that goes into a performance, or a poem, or knowing how to help a student play better. And it's frustrating to feel like you have to justify yourself in a way that a person working a desk job doesn't seem to have to.
May 18, 2011 at 9:56 AM
Lisa - respect the shoes said…
I'm terrible because I apologize all the time - I definitely need to take your advice and stop being sorry!
May 19, 2011 at 9:13 PM
Gaby said…
This is something that I myself still need to work on! It's human nature to be insecure about certain things--anything, really. It's extremely cliche, but whoever first quipped that "others can only make you feel bad about yourself (insert whatever context this belongs in) IF you give them permission to do so" was right, of course. My value and self worth lies within myself. If I feel that way about myself, I think others will respect that, too.
May 21, 2011 at 5:09 PM
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