Don't Take Yourself That Seriously

Yesterday, as I was teaching, I was thinking to myself how amazing it is that literally each and every one of my students (I have around 35 right now--the number has dropped considerably since summer) have their own unique personality and how differently they all behave during their lessons.  For students who have been with me for more than half a year, I more or less know what to expect as far as their attention span, their reactions and gestures, etc. 
I've been noticing, however, that one quirk that sort of gets under my skin that quite a few students do, is watching my face AS they're playing.  And it totally gets in the way of their playing because they are so focused on reading my facial gestures to gauge whether they're playing well or not--it's both annoying and hilarious.  If it gets really bad, I usually make a comment about it in the nicest way possible (I really don't want to crush their innocent spirit or change who they are), usually in a joking way so they know I'm not being stern.
Does anyone else have students like these?  Do you think it's weird?  Did YOU ever do that to your teacher? Haha.
I'm pretty sure I did the complete opposite and never looked at anyone while playing. I'm still that way; actually I don't make eye contact when I'm out and about in general.  Mostly it's just because I'm on a mission whenever I'm out somewhere and I really am not interested in useless chit chat with strangers or acknowledging perverted men who think I should be flattered by their attention.  As a result, I think I come across as pissed off, as was the case at my local Kohl's.  Last Christmas, I think I may have had one or two sarcastic comments thrown my way by two middle aged ladies at my grocery store as well, because I wasn't in the mood to make eye contact when graciously getting out of the way to make room for their carts. Yes, I know it wouldn't take a lot to smile and nod even if I don't feel like it--but sometimes I just don't feel like it. I hate, HATE crowds and other shoppers...especially older women.  They are the worst.

Okay, didn't meant to go off on a tangent, but I'm very passionate and adamant about my dislike for crowds and shoppers.  Hmph.  Just wait, in about 25 years, I will become one of those annoying old ladies.

Anyway, most of my students are tons of fun and I really need to start recording the things they say because I can remember laughing a lot at times, but I just can't, for the life of me, recall what some of those funny things they said were.  I also really enjoy making them laugh; that's one quality I definitely wish I had had in a violin teacher.  I had great teachers, but most of them took themselves too seriously.  I studied briefly with the assistant concertmaster of the Cleveland Orchestra when I was in high school, and I remember at one of our lessons, she asked if I'd be interested in attending one of their concerts at the Blossom Music Center.  I said I would, and she left it at that.  She didn't give me instructions on how to acquire the tickets or to let her know by a certain time, and since I was painfully shy at the time, I didn't bother to ask any more questions about it.  Well...a few weeks went by and (this was over the summer) my mom burst into my room one morning and woke me up with the phone in my face:  "Ms. Moore wants to talk to you!" I groggily answered the phone trying really hard to mask the fact that I had just woken up, and I was met with an angry rant about how disrespectful it was of me to not call her sooner about those tickets and how she was the assistant concertmaster of the Cleveland Orchestra and she shouldn't be treated that way.  Sheesh.  Well, of course I apologized profusely and ended up picking up those tickets and attending that concert.  She was a good teacher and obviously a good player, but her egotism left a bad taste in my mouth.  But maybe that's just a by product of her culture, I don't know.

I really appreciate humor and life is short, so why not laugh more?

Comments

Hannah said…
Two things: yes, my students often stare at me while playing! I work so hard with some of them to get them to look at their own violins/bows rather than me.

And love the bit about perverted men who think you should be flattered by their attention. Reminds me of that Seinfeld bit about how men honk their horns at woman, what do they expect, you to kick off your heels, run after them, "I'm so glad you honked, I had no idea how you felt!" Grrr. I am a master at ignoring people when necessary.
sarah marie said…
yes, some of my students do that, and yes, it's awkward! I usually try to do what you said and find a nice way to mention it without embarrassing them. Or give them a specific thing to focus on, like their sounding point. it's a funny thing, and I don't remember doing that when I was a young student!

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