Impatience

I'm a very impatient person.  It's probably one of my worst qualities.  If you asked my parents about it as well, they'd be more than happy to go into detail about it as my impatience was something they were very, um, impatient with growing up.
It's not a quality I like about myself, but at the same time, it is a very big part of who I am.  I can use it or misuse it.  Most times, I misuse it--like when I'm driving.  I get road rage; definitely not the bad kind, but enough to teach me that it's best to not mess with other drivers.  The other day, I happened to be the subject of someone ELSE'S road rage, and while I did nothing wrong (except happen to drive in front of them during a merge, which I HAD to do), this person could not deal with it and took her road rage to a whole other level and followed me all the way back to my house!  Did she actually do anything to me? No, thank God.  She did stare for a good 5 seconds as she pulled up alongside me as I parked, and then drove off.  I knew she had been behind me the whole time, but I just assumed she lived in my neighborhood.  I realized she did not, the moment she sped off.   I regret not leading her, instead, to the local police station.

At any rate, that is one example of impatience that I do not want to fall into.  The kind where bad emotions control the outcome and all logic or common sense is nowhere to be seen.

The good kind of impatience--the kind I hope I can retain and which I don't want to lose in my attempt to be a more patient person--is, I believe, the intolerance of something unjust.  I am not a person who cares to be walked all over on, and let you get away with it.  I am not the kind of friend who nods and smiles even when I think you are making a bad decision in your life.  When one thinks of a patient person, I think we usually envision a soft spoken, non judgmental and laid back person.  There are moments I try to be like that; most times I fail miserably.  I don't think I care to try to be someone I'm really not, anymore.  Taming my emotions so I don't say or do something I regret later on--yes; losing my sense of right or wrong and acting upon it if need be--definitely not.

Another example of where I've more recently learned to tamper my impatience (but not lose it!) is on Facebook.  I hate Facebook.  I really do.  But I can't leave--I've tried and always come back with excuses ("I have to respond to that message, or else they'll think I'm rude" or "where else will I be able to rub it in everyone's faces when something amazing happens to me??"...you get the picture) and end up being a pathetic slave to it, like millions of people everywhere.  It's such an easy (and bad) way to let everyone you know in on your every thought, and while no one is forcing anyone to post banal thoughts, the means are available to do it and people abuse it.
A couple years ago, during the heated presidential election, I--like everyone else--regularly posted my political opinions (as if anyone cared), and my like-minded friends would either comment positively or "like" my posts, while others would just remain silent, which is what I tend to do when someone posts something I don't necessarily agree with and I just can't think of anything nice or constructive to say.  A relative who is on the far, FAR opposite side of the political spectrum than mine bothered to comment on something I posted.  I felt guilty for making her feel like it was personally directed towards her (which it was not) and made the mistake of responding to her response.  And from there, it turned ugly.  Now, I feel like there is not only tension between myself and this relative, but also among other relatives who heard about it and do not think the same way I do.  I'm sure they see me in a different way that is not fair to who I really am, and this makes me hate social media all the more.
But that is something I take the blame for, and as a result, I post more carefully on FB, or not at all.  This is one area of my life where impatience can NOT take the reigns.

In the arena of teaching, I have never lost my patience uncontrollably or irrationally in front of a student or parent.  That's not something I believe in.  But what I do support is controlled impatience, which has been successful every single time with a student.  Basically, once in awhile, I let on how disappointed I am in a student--and not in a grandmotherly way, but in a more scary way that will ensure that they are thinking about that lesson for the rest of the week and will come to their next lesson prepared.  It works.  I know most people think a "scary" teacher is the bad kind of teacher; in retrospect, the scariest ones I had I revere the most in my adult life.  They were the ones who truly cared about my progress.  And so there's no confusion, most of my students are NOT scared of me--in fact, probably too many of them are too comfortable with me probably because they're all taller and I still look like I'm in high school.  But I say that's all the more effective for the times I become stern and serious because it's suddenly out of character and jerks them back to the reason why they come to their lessons every week.

I still have instances where I lose control and I let my human nature get the best of me; but I'm pretty thankful that I have made mistakes in the past so that I can avoid them again in the future.

Any other fellow impatient people out there?  Is this something you don't like about yourself, or are you fully content to remain this way, and if so, how has it helped (or hindered) you in your life?